Note to Readers: Please be advised that this post discusses sensitive and potentially graphic topics. Reader discretion is strongly advised.
Written by Sylvia Poonen
Life and Transformation Coach
Approximate Reading Time: 7 minutes
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Depression is not just sadness. It is a hidden storm raging inside a person’s mind, invisible to the outside world. It is the silent scream no one hears, the invisible wound no one sees, the private war fought behind closed doors. For many, each day becomes more unbearable than the one before. Yet they smile. They laugh. They go to work. They play the role. Inside, however, they are breaking down.
And because we live in a world that still whispers about mental illness, many are too afraid to speak up. Too afraid of judgment. Too afraid of being misunderstood. So they carry it in silence until silence swallows them whole.
When Silence Turns into Tragedy
Pam, a young, first-time mom, woke up as she did every night to check on her three-month-old baby boy, Justine. She gazed at him with absolute adoration as he lay peacefully in the cot beside her bed. Reaching across the bed for her husband, she suddenly realized he wasn’t there.
She called out his name, but there was no reply. Confused, she searched the house, and then she saw him. Hanging. Lifeless in their bathroom.
Her screams tore through the night as she frantically tried to get him down, but with trembling hands and her small frame, she just wasn’t strong enough. The ambulance arrived, and he was pronounced dead. Soon, the house was filled with neighbors, family, and close friends, all in a state of disbelief.
Just hours before, they had been with their family. Tom, the love of her life, had been unusually affectionate the entire week, clinging to her presence as though holding on to the last fragments of his world. It was a deceptive calm before the storm. No one saw it coming.
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And then the whispers began. The gossip. The blame. His family pointed fingers at her, as though she could have stopped the unbearable storm he himself could not fight. Broken, confused, and clutching her newborn son, she wept bitterly. This was not how life was supposed to turn out. She had dreamed of growing old with him, of building a future together. But in a single night, her heart, her life, her future, were shattered.
Even as a child back then, I realized that no amount of words could mend a broken heart. But one’s presence, love, care, and support could make the journey of losing a loved one a little more bearable.
As the years went on, the road remained difficult, not only for Pam but also for her young son, Justine. She battled grief and continuous financial struggles. But the most helpless moment of all was when Justine came home crying because some insensitive children at school teased him for not having a dad. Can you imagine how painful it must have been for Pam to have that conversation with her little boy, trying to explain that it wasn’t his fault that his dad had committed suicide?
A decade later, tragedy struck again. Pam’s brother-in-law also committed suicide. He, too, hung himself, leaving behind a grieving wife and children. This is the heartbreaking reality of what can happen when depression is ignored.
The truth is, there may have been signs. But how many people really know the signs of depression or just how devastating the consequences can be if left untreated?
We need to end the stigma surrounding mental health! People should be able to get help without fearing what others will think or say. Depression is a war you cannot fight alone. You desperately need an army of soldiers: family, friends, support groups, and therapists to help you through this battle.
Click Here For science-backed tools and strategies to support you on your healing journey after receiving a diagnosis from a Medical Professional
What Is Depression?
Depression is not a weakness. It is not “just being sad.” It is a disease that changes the way the brain thinks, feels, and functions. It drains joy from the soul and replaces it with emptiness. It convinces a person that the world would be better off without them, when in truth, the world would never be the same without them.
What Causes It?
Depression is complex. It can be triggered by trauma, loss, or abuse. Stress, financial struggles, or broken relationships can fuel it. For some, it is linked to brain chemistry or family history. For others, it comes from chronic pain, illness, or sheer exhaustion from fighting silent battles no one knows about.
The Signs We Miss
Depression doesn’t always look like tears. Sometimes it looks like laughter. Sometimes it looks like over-loving, over-giving, or over-working. It often shows itself through:
- Persistent Emotional Changes: A lasting sense of sadness, hopelessness, or frequent, unexplained crying spells.
- Sudden Shifts in Mood: Unpredictable mood changes, from being irritable and angry to appearing happy before a crisis.
- Social Withdrawal: Pulling away from friends, family, and social activities, or avoiding calls and messages.
- Changes in Sleep & Appetite: Trouble sleeping (insomnia) or sleeping too much, accompanied by significant changes in weight or appetite.
- Unexplained Fatigue: Feeling constantly tired or having a loss of energy for no clear reason, even with enough rest.
- Loss of Interest & Pleasure: No longer enjoying hobbies, food, intimacy, or activities that once brought joy.
- Feelings of Worthlessness: A pervasive feeling of being a burden, or experiencing overwhelming feelings of guilt.
- Irritability & Anger: Frequent frustration or uncontrollable anger outbursts.
- Cognitive Difficulties: Experiencing memory problems, poor concentration, brain fog, or difficulty making simple decisions.
- Behavioral Changes: Neglecting personal hygiene, engaging in risky behaviors, or overcompensating with forced cheerfulness in public.
According to research, approximately 332 million people worldwide are living with depression.
The Impact of Undiagnosed and Untreated Depression
- Suicidal thoughts, attempts, and suicide
- Chronic or treatment-resistant depression
- Co-occurring disorders
- Chronic diseases
- Weakened immune system
- Cognitive problems
- Work and financial strain
- Relationship strain
- Impact on children and family dynamics
- Generational cycles of poor mental health
The Ripple Effect
Depression is never confined to one heart. Its darkness seeps into every corner of life. What begins as an invisible war within one soul soon spreads outward, shattering families and shaking communities, leaving behind heartache, pain, and long-suffering where love and laughter once lived.
It leaves unanswered questions, shattered dreams, and families struggling to make sense of something that often had no clear warning.
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A Call to Break the Silence
We must talk about depression. We must strip away the shame and stigma. Asking for help is not a weakness; it is a strength. Listening without judgment could save a life. A kind word, a patient ear, or even simply sitting beside someone in their pain could be the reason they hold on one more day. Because behind every silent smile, there could be a war raging inside.
Depression lies to you. It tells you that no one cares, that you are alone, that the world would be better without you. But those are not truths; they are the chains depression wraps around your mind. The truth is, you matter more than you know. Your presence holds weight. Your absence would leave an ache that nothing could ever fill. Reaching for help is not a sign of weakness. It is proof that somewhere inside, you still believe in tomorrow. And tomorrow can hold light, laughter, and love again. Don’t let depression write the ending of your story. Reach out, because your life is worth saving. You matter. Your life matters.”
Speak. Reach out. Let someone in. And if you love someone, don’t wait for them to confess their pain. Notice the changes. Show them they matter, again and again.
One act of compassion can change the ending of someone’s story. It is my mission to create awareness that depression is real, it is cruel, but together, we can fight it.
Get Help Now
If you or someone you love is struggling with depression or suicidal thoughts, please reach out immediately. You are not alone, and help is available 24/7.
SADAG (South African Depression & Anxiety Group)
Suicide Crisis Helpline (24/7): 0800 567 567 (toll-free)
Cipla Mental Health Helpline: 0800 456 789 (toll-free)
Substance Abuse Helpline: 0800 12 13 14 (toll-free)
LifeLine South Africa
National Counselling Line (24/7): 0861 322 322 (sharecall – cell phone charges may apply)
Disclaimer: Names have been changed to protect the privacy of individuals. Please remember that only a qualified medical professional can provide a proper diagnosis and treatment for depression.
For science-backed tools and strategies to support you on your healing journey after diagnosis, visit:
www.transformationwithin.co.za
Click Here For science-backed tools and strategies to support you on your healing journey after receiving a diagnosis from a Medical Professional